The Big Think: Crappy, But True Thoughts on Life
Most of you don't know it. But you can tell a lot about a person by their stool. Yes, poop. It's called the Bristol Stool Chart and here it is. There are 7 types, with 3 and 4 considered "normal".
Take a good look. There are seven types of stools...and they each have something say about our physiology. But wait, there's more. Call me crazy, but I got to thinking about this and found that there may be more than just physiology going on here. Could there even be 7 personality types reflected in our excrement? The associations were just too close to ignore. Can your poop define you? I think that maybe it can. So, here it goes--the Bristol Scale and it's associated mental pathology...
Bristol Scale #1. Separate hard lumps, like nuts. THE ISOLATIONIST. NO MAN IS AN ISLAND...OR IN THIS CASE, A LUMP.
Bristol Scale Scale 32. Sausage-shaped but lumpy. THE LUMPY, BUMPY ROAD OF THE NONCONFORMIST.
Bristol Scale #3. Like a sausage but with cracks on the surface. THOSE LIVING ON THE EDGE--CRACKS IN THE SURFACE.
Bristol Scale #4 Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft. THE FIRST NORMAL VARIATION: THE SMOOTH OPERATOR
Bristol Scale #5. Soft blobs with clear-cut edges. THE SECOND NORMAL VARIATION: THE WELL DEFINE BLOB
Bristol Scale #6. Fluffy pieces with ragged edges, a mushy stool. THE GARDEN VARIETY WIMP, LIVING THE LIFE OF OTHERS
Bristol Scale #7. Watery, no solid pieces. THE SPINELESS WIMP, DESTINED FOR IGNOMINY
So, maybe Freud was right and there is something to this scatological subtext. But the big think today is about the big poop. Don't take it for granted...